Tuesday, November 13

Some journaling

I was recently talking with a friend who is going through a very significant and difficult change in her life. Although quitting my job was very minor compared to what she is going through, we discussed some of the similarities. As we were talking she asked if I was journaling all of these important feelings and thoughts. I realized I hadn't taken the time to put it down in words thus far...

After 6+ months of freedom, I still wake up and give a sigh of relief that I don't have the stress of my job anymore. I go to lunch with friends from work and still give thanks that I don't have to go back to work with them afterwards. As different events happen at work, I still enjoy knowing I don't have to work long, long days in a row. I don't have the stress of preparing for and executing the event.

Leaving my job was hard, harder than last time because it was a complete break. Last time I was still employed as an on-call salesperson. Last time I quit to stay at home. This time I quit to seek other employment (at least initially). I left my dream job to work somewhere else!!

When I started working after college, I had absolutely no idea I could find so much satisfaction and fulfillment from a career. It was like the job was tailor made for me. Fast-paced, always, always changing, an amazing social environment with people I loved, challenging, and of course one of my true passions in life.

But there were negative things, as there always are. And overtime the negative started to outweigh the positive. And finally the negative outweighed the positive to a point where it became not my dream job, but "my own personal hell." (The friend I mentioned earlier described her current life situation this way; it seemed applicable, although maybe a little strong for my situation.) It was time to part ways.

I miss the best parts. I still ache when I remember the parts I loved. I sigh when I think of things I don't or can't do anymore. But the relief is stronger. And as I continue to reflect on what has come to past, I am grateful I made the decision. Come what may it was completely worth it.

And that is how the conversation ended.

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